


Inner Conflict

by OrdainedCrownie



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-28 14:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6332239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrdainedCrownie/pseuds/OrdainedCrownie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toku toa, he toa rangatira<br/>(My bravery is inherited from the chief who were my forebears)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inner Conflict

**Author's Note:**

> Set sometime after Episode 45

It had taken all their resources, two near deaths and the help of a human stranger caught up in the chaos to close the breach which had opened in Pyrah by Thordaks return. The group had convened a safe distance away from the closure as it was still unstable as it was and would need to be monitored by the druids from here on. Setting up a temporary camp at the base of the mountain with the rest of the survivors, the group rested after the long battle and Keyleth found a quiet place beneath one of the trees she had ported near to recollect her thoughts from the day before.

  
"Tamahine?" her father voice called and she glanced up to see her father approaching her looking worried. She automatically rose from where she had sat and the two clasped hands nodding briefly before they both relaxed and her father pulled her into his chest.

  
"Tamahine, what's wrong? Something troubles you."

  
"It's nothing, Matua."

  
"Keyleth...my sweet. I can sense the turmoil inside you that is tearing you apart. What is that is troubling you so much?"

  
"When...uh...when you became headmaster did you ever worry about out-living Mama?"

  
"It is our duty of our tribe to oversee the many generations to come at the cost of seeing our loved ones pass on but yes I did worry about out-living her as those before me have done."

  
"Ngaro atu he tētēkura, whakaeke mai he tētēkura, you know this Keyleth, it is part of our tribe's culture but we do not let it rule our hearts." Keyleth glanced down at the ground, shuffling her feet as she did so until her father gently grasped her chin lifting it to be level with his.

  
"Kaua e tangi, Tamahine." He brushed the tears brimming at her eyes even as she nodded at him, trying to keep herself in check before her father cleared his throat.

  
"Keyleth, are you worried to fall in love with the raven-haired boy for fear of losing him?" Keyleth felt herself go red in the face even as her father chuckled with a broad smile on his face.

  
"Ah yes I see I have guessed correctly. Tamahine, do you not want to at least know you tried and not wished you had when you were given the chance?"

  
"I... don't know...I'm scared that if I let him in that I will just lose him. I can't bare to see him grow old where I will not look a year older. I'm terrified that each time I look at him it could be the last thing I see of him."

  
"Keyleth cherish the time you have with him instead of worrying about what comes after. It will come with time that you will accept that." He kissed Keyleth's head gently, giving her a reassuring hug before he gracefully got up to convene with the survivors, leaving Keyleth once again lost in her own thoughts even as Trinket came over to console her.

  
**  
Vex noticed it almost immediately that something had happened between the two lovers due to her brother's sudden moping and annoyance. This could have been due to her shouting at him to piss off during the battle as he had tried to protect her, but with constant long looks in Keyleth's direction it wasn't hard to work out. Knowing she wasn't going to get anything out of her brother in his current self-imposed silence, she made her way towards Keyleth whom was talking and brushing Trinket affectionately in order to busy herself.

  
"Keyleth? Darling? Can I talk to you?"

  
"Huh? Oh..sure..." Keyleth nodded but didn't look at Vex as she kept her eyes fixed on Trinket.

  
"Keyleth....has my brother done something to hurt you? Do I need to knock some sense into him?" Keyleth jolted up, her eyes now widening in fear as she hesitated before laying her hand on Trinket.

  
"No...it's nothing..." Keyleth now trailed off, glancing down at the floor and Vex wondered what could've caused a sudden rift between the two. She reached over Trinket whom growled softly before she grasped Keyleth's hand halting her brushing and squeezed it.

  
"Keyleth...darling...tell me and my eyes are up here not down there." Keyleth glanced up at Vex for a moment taking a deep breath to compose herself.

  
"When...or if even...we beat the Chroma Conclave and we go back to our respective lives, I will out-live all of you... I will see each and every one of you including Vax die before me. I will see your children grow up, grow old and die before me. It scares me to death that I would see the world change multiple times before I pass on while you will only see it change once." Keyleth could feel the tears brimming in her eyes but she remembered her father's words before quickly brushing them away.

  
"Oh Keyleth...I think more than ever now that we need to cherish the time we have with those we love while we still can. I think from what has happened recently it's made me more aware to cherish things a little more than usual and I think i can say that more than most." Keyleth gave her a small smile when Trinket growled in agreement, nuzzling Vex gently. She was still too scared to go speak to Vax after they had spoke the other night when he had abruptly left the room.

  
"I know my brother can be insufferably difficult with things especially when it's something he doesn't want to hear but I think even with what's happening with us, he's going to need someone by his side that's not me to keep him afloat. I worry for him and ever since he made that deal with the Raven Queen in exchange for my life he's been different. He needs someone to be his light when he's at his darkest and we need to be there for him even if he doesn't like it, alright?" Keyleth regarded Vex for a moment and noticed that her stoic demeanor had completely dropped and she could sense the sinicerity behind her words. Keyleth paused for a moment mulling over her words before Vex squeezed her hand again.

  
"I know i haven't been all that supportive before the sunken temple of you two because I was scared to lose him. I was afraid that he was going to leave me alone just like...well that's in the past anyway but I think as much as I think it's probably a carriage-wreck waiting to happen, that you are probably what he needs right now. Now go talk to him and if you have to, go kiss him for the love of Sarenrae he needs it." Keyleth gave Vex a quizzical look as she got up from Trinket, briefly patting Keyleth's hand before motioning for Trinket to follow her away back to the group.

  
"Keyleth?" Vex's voice rang out and Keyleth nearly bolted upright at the sound of it.

  
"Coming!" Keyleth called back, dusting herself off before taking a deep breath and made her way towards the group and hopefully have a proper talk with Vax.


	2. Stay Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for Episode 46

_The road before you Keyleth is hard and fraught with loss and sadness. To live is to struggle against the void, but it's those moments of darkness that define the joy of the world around them. Learn from the loss and push forward as a beacon of perseverance, of hope for life after pain. This is one of the pillars of strength of a leader. One that I have learned with the loss of your mother._

_Stay safe, for her sake…_

 

Vax had contemplated those words as he watched over the group during his night shift. Vex had insisted that Keyleth be on watch with him and gave her brother a sly wink before she claimed a spot on Trinket to sleep on. He silently cursed his sisters sly meddling into his relationship with Keyleth but was also kind of grateful she had pushed at the same time.

 

Keyleth sat beside him but her eyes were fixated on the campfire as she rubbed her hands together as she lost herself deep in thought. Vax cautiously reached out briefly and touched her hand to which she instinctively pulled back before she relaxed to grasp his hand.

 

“Kee?” She didn’t look up at him instead focusing on their hands, she unraveled their fingers briefly to inspect his which were still slightly burned from falling into the lava but had began to heal from her spell.

 

“Kee?” Vax repeated, now moving to be crouched in front of her despite the pain he felt in his feet. Keyleth raised her head slightly to be level with his, biting her lip unsure how to reply.

 

“Vax…” She sighed, looking down briefly before continuing. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I didn’t…like being near you when we spoke in Whitestone. I was just so scared of losing you like when we nearly lost Vex that I just couldn’t bare to think about it. But I think now I’ve come to accept that and want to cherish the moments I have now rather than those I have yet to experience with you.”

 

Keyleth now glanced up to see Vax glancing down at their hands again and she see a tear glistening down his cheek.

 

“Oh… Vax…” she chuckled quietly even as he leant forward wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his head into her lap to hide. She wrapped her arms around his back with her head resting on his shoulders, rubbing his back gently even as she felt his body shake from releasing pent up emotion.

 

“I’m sorry…” Vax’s muffled voice murmured into Keyleth’s lap, even as he slowly raised his head and Keyleth pulled back so her arms were around his neck with their heads level.

 

“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry I should’ve… I should’ve stayed with you in Whitestone… I should’ve done a lot of things I guess now I think about it. I guess… I was just as scared of hearing those words being said as you were mph-“ Vax found himself cut off when Keyleth leant forwards to kiss him gently, the taste of salty tears hitting her as she tried to comfort him but seemed to help Vax forget his train of thought when he shifted to deepen the kiss, his hands reaching up to push her veil of hair aside. Keyleth eventually pulled back to breathe, her hands resting on either side of his face even as Vax deliberately made a silly face with a lazy smile causing her to giggle.

 

“Vax, promise me while I can’t stop you from doing stupid things, that you’ll be more careful in the future?”

 

“I make no promises if you or Vex are in danger, but yes I will try to be more careful in the future when there is lava involved.”

 

Keyleth giggled again before leaning her forehead against his and she could hear his breath hitching due to her close proximity.

 

“Stay safe for me, Vax.” He grinned before she ran her thumb across his lips and he allowed her to trace his lips as it rested on his cheek. He kissed the inside of her palm and he was sure for a brief moment he heard a gasp of surprise escape her lips as he clasped her to hand to pull it aside and briefly kissed her, claiming her lips for his own for a while before he pulled back again to breathe and stare into her eyes.

 

“Anything for you, Kiki.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to use some Maori words to coincide with Keyleth being with her father (as she has used Kaitiaki meaning Guardians/trustee)  
> Sorry if it's not a perfect translation:
> 
> Tamahine - Daughter
> 
> Matua - Father
> 
> Kaua e tangi - Don't cry
> 
> Ngaro atu he tētēkura, whakaeke mai he tētēkura - When one chief disappears another is ready to appear. No one is indispensable.


End file.
